still here

My son and I are still in our one room at the homeless hostel.we have been here since 20th Jan.we are in emergency housing and c an bid o properties now, Last time we bid  last week and there was 20 and 11 people who had more priority need than us so they would all have to turn it down before we got offered it.So we aren't going to be rehoused any time soon.It is driving us nuts being in such a confined space and none of our things around us hardly.got of our possessions we do have are in bags under our beds.we share a washing machine with 40 other families(1 machine) and the drier doesn't work .the washing machine has just been installed after 5 weeks of not working.
so life is grim.My mothers cancer has returned,this time in her chest.I don't have much support around me save a few good friends, and my family cannot wave a magic wand and rehouse us.
I am on anti depressants now and have to start counselling.I cant seem to pull myself out the pit of despair I feel at how badly my life is working out.I am worried about y mum and seem to not be happy for very long in any situation,f i go out it gets me out of here,but then i am asked if i am rehoused, that reminds me of how shit my life has become and then i go home feeling even more down.I get that no one can help me, and i am trying to be patient and accept but it just has been one thing after another and i have so little to be positive about..One thing continues t worry me and that is my eye sight, which is still unstable glaucoma.I have an eye test coming up, and some hospital appointments,maybe they will put y mind at rest.
when I am not crying and feeling down I have been doing some crochet    ,baby's blanket,a little knitting squares for a blanket and some cross stitch.I shall try and take some photos .Meanwhile  look forward to  my daughters wedding in June She is just about finishing up at uni and her and Alex who has passed his maths exam both are the one thing I am proud of ,